This week’s Principal’s Message considers the value of tradition and ritual in our world today. Increasingly, it seems as though things we’ve “hung our hat on” in the past have been devalued and deemed nonsense by an ever-larger portion of the population. To many of us, this is a distressing and serious problem. In a time when it’s getting tougher to know just what the “societal norms” are, our children are those suffering. We see it manifesting itself in children with bouts of anxiety and depression, feelings of isolation, incidents of self-harm, violence against others, participation in sexual activity at younger ages, usage of drugs and alcohol and the ideation of suicidal thoughts.
If you pay attention to the “buzz” in the media, on social networks and the like, tradition and ritual was a “made-up” set of rules and regulations, aimed at oppressing certain categories of people for the benefit of a “ruling class”. In an attempt to please everyone and exhibit tolerance toward any behavior, traditional or that goes against the grain, our politicians and lawmakers have made it exceedingly difficult to know all the rules to this game we call life. In fact children’s self-esteem, that we seem to care so much about, has been diminished and marginalized due to this “anything goes” attitude that is so pervasive today.
The term self-esteem is defined as a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect. I have also heard it said that a child’s self-esteem is increased when the child knows the rules, expectations, and standards they should live by. It is when there’s too much “gray” that they stumble and fall, oftentimes not being able to recover. When rules, expectations, and standards are “black and white”, children thrive, being comfortable with what they know and the consequences of choosing to follow them or not. Understand we are not speaking to blind obedience here. We are speaking of children growing up knowing the appropriate behaviors for their current ages and acting accordingly. Hence, the need for tradition and ritual!
One of the most interesting books I’ve read over the years is
Raising a Modern Day Knight, by Robert Lewis. This book speaks specifically to raising a son, but it is applicable to this discussion. Here are three excerpts from the book I believe to be very pertinent:
“The medieval custom of knighthood offers a unique approach to shaping a boy into a strong, godly man. Centuries ago, select boys went through a rigorous, years-long process of clearly defined objectives, goals, and ceremonies—with the hope of achieving knighthood.”
“Sons need fathers who are involved in their lives—dads who will love them, teach them, and discipline them. But clearly, sons also need a masculine vision. They need a manhood language. They need a ceremony. And they need other men. Knighthood, as an outline, offers all this and more.”
“Sons are looking for the substance of life. As I hope to prove, they hunger for the best things. In the absence of these anchors, sons drift. But when loving dads add these into the manhood mix, their sons flourish.”
At Saint Mary School, we celebrate tradition and rituals. These include the 8
th Grade Pin Ceremony, Academic/Sports Award Ceremony, a full mass at graduation, etc. Each of these events signifies the passage of time and a new chapter in the lives of our students. There is little doubt in the minds of these youngsters what these new responsibilities and expectations entail. And for that, our students leave Saint Mary School confident and with their self-esteem intact and at the appropriate level. Developing children to their fullest potential, with a clear sense of what their God-given talents and skills may be, is Job #1 here at SMS!
Please continue to pray for our school, its staff, students and families, and our clergy as we strive to provide an education that is unapologetically Catholic, family centered, caring to others and respectful to all. Please check our website, Facebook page and the Church bulletin for updates and upcoming events that you can enjoy with us. May God bless you and keep you always!